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Introduction
A Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah are coming of age ceremonies, when a Jewish boy (at the age of 13) and a Jewish girl (at the age of 12) become responsible for keeping the mitzvot (commandments). After a Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony, the young person is considered an adult in the eyes of Judaism and the Jewish community, and is held responsible for their actions.
Bar Mitzvah - Hebrew for 'son of the commandment'
Bat Mitzvah - Hebrew for 'daughter of the commandment'
Following the ceremony the young Jewish person is counted as being personally responsible for keeping the mitzvot, and as part of the historical community of Jews (linking them all the way back to Abraham and Sarah),
What happens - Bar Mitzvah ceremony
The ceremony takes place in the main prayer hall of the synagogue (often called the sanctuary) on a Saturday during the regular Shabbat service. The boy is called up to the Torah for the first time (this is called an Aliyah), and he will read a portion of the Torah in Hebrew to the congregation. He may then lead part of the service or explain the reading to the congregation. This will be the first time he wears a tallit (prayer shawl), as required by this mitzvah:
"Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them." (Numbers 15)
Wearing a tallit shows the boy's new religious responsibility (which includes being able to form part of a minyan).
A Bar Mitzvah may also wear tefillin during prayer. Tefillin are small leather boxes that contain some Torah verses that are worn by Jewish men during prayer - one attached to the left arm with a leather strap, and the other is worn on the forehead. This is required by this mitzvah:
“You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be a reminder between your eyes.” (Deuteronomy 6)
The rabbi usually then will give a sermon, and bless the boy using these words from the Torah:
"The Lord bless you and keep you." (Numbers 6)
Members of the congregation may throw sweets after the Torah reading to represent the sweetness of studying God's words. This shows the involvement of the community in Judaism - which is an important aspect of the religion.
The family and friends will then return home to celebrate with a party or meal.
Challenge - tallit & tefillin
The tallit and tefillin are physical symbols of a Jewish person’s responsibility to follow God’s commandments. The tallit is a prayer shawl with fringes, called tzitzit, which are worn during prayer to remind the wearer of God’s mitzvot, as commanded in Numbers 15: “You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them.” The tefillin are small leather boxes containing Torah passages, worn on the arm and forehead during weekday morning prayers, reflecting Deuteronomy 6: “You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be a reminder between your eyes.” Together, they symbolise the connection of mind, heart, and action to God, and during a Bar Mitzvah, wearing them for the first time marks the boy’s entrance into full religious responsibility and participation in Jewish worship.
What happens - Bat Mitzvah ceremony
In Reform and Liberal Judaism, a girl's Bat Mitzvah ceremony will be similar to a boy's Bar Mitzvah. The girl will:
Read from the Torah in Hebrew.
Lead prayers.
Give a short talk.
Wear a tallit for the first time.
The rabbi will bless her, and a celebration will follow.
However, in Orthodox Judaism, a Bat Mitzvah ceremony will not happen in the main prayer hall of the synagogue, and instead will take place in a hall (which may still be part of the synagogue building) - and it will not form part of the regular Shabbat service. The focus will be on the girl's responsibilities as a member of the Jewish community (e.g., to support family values) rather than any religious responsibilities.
Preparation
Boys and girls will prepare for many months before their Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. This involves learning Hebrew so that they can read from the Torah. They may also engage in charity work (tzedakah) to reinforce the importance of community as they approach full adult membership of that community.